bloggin' all things brownsville

Thursday, June 26, 2008

An Apology ...

Serenity Prayer


Dear Readers,

The blogosphere has been in an uproar the past few days over what was posted on a fellow blog about my not revealing the identity of then-anonymous blogger Roman Perez of RGV USA. Although I did berate him and encourage him to do the right thing by revealing his identity to his readers when I discovered it, I should have posted that information on my blog. Instead, I focused on my blog, and chose to look the other way. For that, I apologize, and I take full responsibility for my actions and poor judgment.

I am repeatedly hit hard by commenters to various blogs, but I do my best to remain focused on my goals for this blog -- to inform, to engage, to encourage.

After Roman attached his name to his blog, I worked to help him improve. I pushed him to be fair. I pushed him to do more, to be great. I allowed myself to trust him.

Several months ago, I was repeatedly attacked, along with my family and friends, by an ANON blogger/commenter known as DJ George. I had been told before that it may be Roman, but because I had no proof, only gossip, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Yesterday, I discovered that DJ George was none other than my friend, Roman Perez. Initially, he said, "Who told you that lie," when I e-mailed him. When I did not respond, he replied in a subsequent e-mail with a lengthy apology and admitted that he was in fact DJ George.

DJ George goes back years. He not only hurt me, but he has a long list of folks in his writing history -- folks, like me, who allowed him to get close.

The below e-mail is what I sent to him. I will add this to my list of hard lessons learned, and move on -- and so will this blog.

Again, I apologize to my readers who put their faith in me. And my message to Roman, well, it's in the e-mail. I forgive you, but I will not forget. Dios te bendiga.

Melissa

----------------------------------------------------------

Roman,

Earlier this evening, I discovered that you are/were in fact DJ George who wrote all those horrible things about me, my family and my friends. I am grief stricken. I opened up to you. I trusted you. I began to care for you as a dear friend.

I don't know how much more pain I can take because of my blog when all I truly want to do is make my community better for my children. They mean the world to me. From my short friendship with you, I've allowed you to get to know me. Now you know, that I am in fact, a hard worker dedicated to my employment and my family. You saw firsthand how I spent my little free time on my blog. I was looking forward to working with you on future projects, too.

Folks have said some horrible things about me, but I kept on, and I encouraged you to do the same. I did my best to be a good friend to you, and I was criticized for keeping my word by not revealing your identity when I found out. Their criticism was appropriately aimed. But today's news hurt me more than ever. I don't know if I'd ever be able to allow myself to trust folks again. That was always my strength, but apparently a weakness, too. It seems my true friends are far and few between lately.

I am very sad, but I no longer want to cry over this whole ordeal. I wish you well, Roman. I pray that you learn to trust. I pray that you learn that not everyone out there is a bad person. The key to believing in others is to first believe in yourself. People make mistakes. We all do. It's how we rectify them that makes the difference. No one else can fix this, but you.

God bless,

Melissa

12 Comments:

Blogger Duardo Paz-Martinez said...

Melly,

You and I have had our dust-up, but our rift will mend itself. This, however, takes greater courage, and I applaud you for doing it. Apologies are Hell, yet they do allow for genuine renewal. I am sure your readers, like me, will give you the benefit of the doubt and continue to read and follow your work here. I AM your friend, regardless of what you may think today...

/DP-M

Thursday, June 26, 2008  
Blogger BobbyWC said...

Two thumbs up - I have said before and will say again - a measure of a person's character is how they respond to their mistakes perceived or otherwise and not their mistakes perceived or otherwise.

Memories are short and people will look to the headlines of breaking news stories of BATB and not the past.

Remember what I said about comfort food.

In the end I think the local blogs will be stronger because of the last few days. I think people will now be more willing to question motivation and ethics when they see one blogger go after someone with such vengence.

I think we as bloggers have gotten through this and are all the better for having had the experience - growing pains are never easy - but on reflection we tend to be grateful for those moments which pushed us forward.

I say 2 thumbs up for MZ and the local blogosphere for a willingness to honestly look inward at its own weaknesses -

now if only the Brownsville City Commission could do the same.

Bobby WC

Thursday, June 26, 2008  
Anonymous senorita said...

MZ
Your unconditional mercy puts Mother Theresa to shame!

Seriously, other people might be packing their .38 right about now.

;)

Thursday, June 26, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The short, unspectacular political "consultant" life of RP is over. I wonder how that guys sleeps at night.

Thursday, June 26, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MZ,

It takes a good person to apologize. My late dad told me, never be afraid to say you’re sorry. No one is perfect. Great work!!!

Herman Otis Powers Jr.

Thursday, June 26, 2008  
Blogger Kurgan said...

M,

You do what is best for you and your family.

We'll keep reading. No judgments.

Kurgan

Thursday, June 26, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Melissa,
I'm not sure you need to apologize. Some people have written that you should have publicly reported Perez immediately. If you had chosen to do that, it would have been (in my opinion) an acceptable action. The path you chose, speaking privately with Perez, was also acceptable and maybe the better choice. You tried to accomplish the goal of helping him improve his behaviors without publicly shaming him. We see a lot of public attacks around here. It's not the best thing. People should have the opportunity to learn. Condemnation is harsh; the spotlight can burn. (Perez' behavior went on for a long time. I don't feel sorry for him. I am trying to talk to you.) So I applaud you for the approach you took. The other issue is the point of view that you should be the Blog Police. Don't buy into that. I think a better view is that we are part of layers of communities, such as Brownsville blogging, Brownsville politics, Brownsville ... and we are going feel certain ethical urges as part of those communities... Participation and influence, not police work. Trust your instincts. You are appreciated.

Thursday, June 26, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why would you allow these holier then thou responders to get so far under your skin? It is your blog, you can do whatever you want with it and they can choose to read it or not read it. If they don't like it they can do their own blog.
By the way, if you consider DP-M your friend you have more serious problems then you know.
Mescalero

Friday, June 27, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just stay positive. You are a beautiful girl inside and out. You are an asset to the community you have to know that. We count on your blog for news even if we never write we read it all the time. I suspect there are others like me.

You have done enough on the Roman episode let it go and do what you do best concentrate on the people that love you and appreciate you.

Friday, June 27, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope you don't loose anymore sleep over this Roman guy. Gas prices are up, the Supreme Court is supporting child rapists rights, and well I could go on buy why? There are much bigger things to worry about that this knucklehead Roman. Pour yourself a big glass of wine and repeat after me..What goes around...comes around! Karma will take care of Roman.

Have a nice weekend.

100 words or less

Friday, June 27, 2008  
Blogger Melissa Zamora said...

I appreciate everyone's notes, but this is not why I posted this. I wanted folks to see the other side of the story. Still, Roman's side remains partly untold, and I won't speak for him. Nor, will I approve any of the comments toward Roman I've received lately with the same vulgar tone DJ George once used.

Another commenter wrote that I am not the Blog Police. You are correct, I'm not. But, I stand behind the fact that I made a mistake by turning the other cheek when I discovered his identity. I wronged Adela Garza when I did this. It's like someone listening to a neighbor beat on his wife, and that person not picking up the phone to report it or go bang on the door to stop it. Yes, a gross example, but the first one I could think of.

I will not purport myself to be perfect. Nor do I absolve myself from my role in this debacle. I take full responsibility for my poor decision.

I discussed this with Ms. Adela Garza yesterday, and I told her the same.

Friday, June 27, 2008  
Anonymous Mark Sossi said...

Sorry to see that someone you trusted has been taking some cheap public shots at you. Sad to say that it happens. Keep your chin up. You have more supporters out there than you know.

Sunday, June 29, 2008  

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